Vroom Vroom


Crotch rocket motorcycles provide the ultimate driving experience. It’s hard to beat the feeling of leaning into a sharp corner on hot clean pavement as you pick up speeds three times the legal limit.

As the bike lies over on a heavy angle above the ground, the rider feels the full effect of the G forces pulling them into the seat. Riding aggressively on a race bike focuses your attention squarely on the bike and the road as you hold on for dear life. Because that’s literally what’s happening as the bike screams and shoots you like a bullet. “Holding on” is the only natural thing left to do when your flying down the highway passing other vehicles as if they were standing still.

At the end of the day it’s just really fun. I highly recommend it for thrill seekers and anyone who likes roller coasters.

In most cases people with bikes love them so much they would never trust another person on their prized machines. It makes it difficult for someone who wants to try it. Basically you have to buy your own bike or you don’t get to know what it feels like.

My attitude was always different then most other bike owners. I wanted to share the experience, so I would let pretty much anyone take it for a rip. I insisted that all my close friends tried it.

Even if I hardly knew you, I would still let you fill your boots. I would always ask two questions before handing over the keys.

Question number one: Do you have motorcycle experience? If the answer is yes, then I know the likelihood of a crash is greatly reduced. Proceed to question number two: Do you have a job? If the answer is yes, then you can afford to pay me the 4,000 bucks to buy me a new bike if you wipe out. With those two simple questions covered I was quite happy to share.

I loved the post ride smiles, and it was always cool to interview the rider fresh after they’ve taken a motorcycle up to speeds of 200km/hr. It feels extra special the first time and that’s why I think it made a cool gift.

I wish hot chicks were more like me and my bike. Why can’t they share their beautiful perfect bodies with anyone who just wants to try it out?

Similar to the race bike, most guys can’t afford a hot girlfriend, but would love to experience one given the chance.

Question number one: Do you have a condom? If yes proceed to question number two. Are you circumcised? Just kidding, who cares if you are or not, now slap on that rubber and ride me like a street bike. What an experience!

If she was really cool I bet she’s even let you wear your favourite helmet while you went to town on her. Maybe she could make sound effects as it happened, something like “ Vrooooooom, Vrooooooom, Ziiiiiiiiiiing, I’m a race bike, I’m a race bike!”

Wouldn’t it be great if when it was all done she said “I can’t wait to see the look on your buddies face when I drop you off for your golf game in the morning” What if she got to be there to share in the experience and see the open mouths and looks of disbelief as she kissed you goodbye.

The high fives would never stop. Even years later the boys would sit and reminisce about the time you got to have relations with a total babe who was way out of your league. The world would be a better place because of her generosity. That’s what the world needs, more girls like that.


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