Puppies for Sale


Spring 2008

So….I’d been sick for a couple of days, but now on day three I laid on the couch absolutely paralysed by stomach cramps, noises of girgiling and swishing could be overheard over the hockey game on T.V. I found it very difficult to concentrate on anything else.

I remember having a good 10 min round with the toilet before going to bed at 11:00 p.m. I also remember thinking “I hope I don’t fart in my sleep tonight”. I climbed into the sack and quickly passed out.

At 12:00 am approx one hour into the sleep I sprung awake to the feeling of hot liquid ass piss rushing out past my butt hole. Something that normally holds strong.

The diarrhea made it’s way through my boxers and on to the comforter. What a nightmare.

I cleaned up by throwing out my shorts and taking my comforter off. For the next hour, I sat on the toilet firing gallons of it into the bowl. I have never experienced anything like this before, as it seemed to be endless.

I would wait a min or two, and then I would feel the pressure bump up against the inside of my sphincter. I knew that this was the time to push. As I let go with everything I had, a direct blast shot out of my anus as if someone pulled the trigger of a squirt gun.

After an hour the flow finally started to slow down. Often when I would push hard, only a bit would dribble out and run down to my ball sack. That and a lot of exploding farts.

I knew that I had to try to go back to sleep, however I was confident that I would probably let another chili dump go as soon as I fell asleep again.

This time I prepared.

I crafted a home made diaper made out of an old pair of ginch and a towel. That should work.

3:00am. I awake in panic as again another brown pee lets go inside the bed. As I bounce up, I realize this time it’s caught by my diaper safe and secure. Success!

I spent a total of two hours on the toilet that night, went through 2 rolls of toilet paper and had three showers just to get all the evidence off my thighs, junk and everywhere else below the waist.

I feel like I had a very clear vision of my grandparents and what their nights must be like. I can’t wait.


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